lost.

ive been preety much away from my whola ana thing for about a year now. im back to my normal weight and it feels horrible. normal isnt good enough for me. so many problems in one year. im going to get back on track. i cnt belive i let myself go...

off to a good start :)

so i started my fast yesterday and i was only suppose to drink water but i got really hungry...so i decided to have a low calorie yogurt(4oz) :)
it was only 70 cals so i didnt feel so bad
but then my lazy self drank some water and went directly to bed...I DIDNT WORK OUT!
UGH! so dissapointed

so today i woke up and did 200 regular crunches and 200 revers crunches and 20 pushups and 20 minutes of a cardio workout :) yay!
then afterwards i cleaned my kitchen and went to take an ice cold shower! it felt great! i also just ate a low cal yogurt(4oz and 70 cals) and im still thinkin about eatin a slice of apple.....???? i wonder how many calories i'll take in if i only chew and spit it out...idk. i'll figure it out later

well im off to my sisters house i'll write back later to update my food intake :)

the break is breaking me....

NOTE TO SELF:
these couple of days have really made me relize how little self control i have
and i must fix this....ASAP!


sooo...
i'm on break from skool for two weeks and it is literally breaking me down
the fact that i am at home with my parents watchin my every move is makin me stuff my face like the cow i am
i decided to fast for monday and tuesday so that i wouldnt feel guilt on having a salad today at my families christmas dinner but....it didnt happen
Monday- i ate about 8 chocolate chip cookies a banana and some grapefruit juice
Tuesday- i ate some doritos half a turky sandwich a banana and a soy vanilla latte

ugh...im a fuckin peice of lard!

after todays dinner i am honestly fasting and working out like crazy until i return to skool....it will make me feel much better and when i get to skool i can also start my normal eating routine

protien bar for breakfast and water for lunch and dinner and everything in between!

i just lost my appitite...